Tuesday, January 18, 2011



I am a person who loves doing so many things.... writing, arts, photography, architecture, gardening, computer. I recognized the gifts God had given me and had earlier on known that it was given not for self-serving goals but for others. In as much as I relish the gifts, I must learn to let go of it, too, if God so ask.

The time had come when my mother suffers from a progressive Alzheimer’s disease. It is NOT an easy sickness to deal with and it took some time to learn how and to accept it. It's unpredictable. It’s physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing.

The greatest demand it asked, however, is simply to "watch over" her. A passivity that can make one feel trap or restless. Jesus asked His disciples to watch with Him in the garden. Imploring them again and again, yet they couldn't.

I realized that God is giving me another gift: to learn how to give of myself. To just "be there" for someone. The "presence" is the present. It is an active passivity that does not try to change the other but accepting who she is. It is an active passivity that cares for another even though not capable of giving back.

No wonder, we all had to go through infancy, so we can be watched over by our mothers. To have that comforting and warmth presence.

No wonder, Jesus instituted the EUHARIST: the total and perfect Presence in a simple wafer patiently waiting for us. A perfect Self-giving though we are not worthy to receive Him yet thru His perfect love, we are healed.

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